So yeah, lots have happened since I last posted a journal(over a year!) so much so that I"m just going to summarize it as best I can.
Got a Shiba pup, moved back home, got my job at Petsmart back, moved into our first apartment, my parents split up(way out of left field to me), got engaged, got into another car accident which left me with back problems, got a new car that sucks balls, got a new job as a prep cook, quit my job at petsmart, moved across town, got my old dog back, started running in the gym, lost my Shiba to a car, got a new Shiba, got my hair straightened again(it'd been a while), got a cat, lost new Shiba to congenital disease, found out I love to sing, started working as a line cook in addition to prepping, got a bass quitar, which brings me to now where we just got a new puppy(Siberian husky). So yeah, life's not really fun unless it's a pain in the ass right?
Coming up for me: Got some painting supplies and hopefully I am going to start that soon, turning 21 in 4 days, going to start taking bass lessons, getting married in July...and well thats all I have in my foreseeable future.
Sooo. Yeah hopefully some new art soon.

Everythings been going against me since I moved here. I have a mild hypochondriac moment and rush myself to the emegency room to learn that I'm just stressed out. I left all my art supplies back home and most of my dvds and books wouldn't fit in the car. I get the one job I wanted with great pay and now I don't get enough hours to live off of. I have to visit a doctor frequently because of abnormalities that could lead to something very serious. But the worst of it all is that I've once again moved into a family. At first I was excited to move here and be with Tyler's mom and it was great at first but then I've become overwhelmed now that his sister is here too. I'm a very needy person and I love human interaction but I'm also shy as hell, that equals a stressed out lonely person who bugs the hell out of the one person she feels comfortable with. Ah hell its not that bad now because I found some paper and some pens, mebbe I can let out the stress with some art! I really want to take pictures but I forgot my batteries and a cable that can download the pictures. I have some good ones too...damn...

Alright! To those of you who will read this please overlook the angsty crap that I spew forth, I just have to get it out and have it in writing somewhere.

So, since my last journal entry I've moved to Denver with Tyler. It's been going great but he's started to get anxious and frusterated at life and he really misses Tucson and there's nothing I can do to help him. It makes me feel worthless and miserable because if there is nothing I can do for him is there any point in me being here? I mean he misses his friends, his fun, his job and just the freedom to go to places he knows. He has his mom here which at first I know helped but now I don't even know because he's shut that part of himself off to me. He's become so distant and moody and I can't live like this. I'm not a people person because people scare the crap out of me but I live off the energy and emotions that I get from them so I must keep myself around other people. But it's a big backfire when the person I see the most is closed off and having issues that he wont talk to me about and is constantly frusterated. I in turn feel like an utter worthless waste of his time and that he would be better off if I wasn't around. I want to tell him that I'm suffering to but I don't see how that would help. I'm just in constant turmoil and it wouldn't bother me as much as it does if I weren't getting migranes from stress. One of the fricking things sent me to the hospital because I thought it was leading to something MUCH worse than what it was. So now added to my already monumental stress and silent suffering I know have a huge bill that I can't pay off. I can't even make monthly payments of $50 because the job I finally got is only part time seasonal. I can't stand this much longer! I just want to run away sometimes, not back home, just away. I'm so numb half the time and then when I feel something it's just despair, and a double dose of it because the person I love and depend on so much because he's the only person I know here is wallowing in it I can't breathe. I just wish he would come to me but I know he wont because he's a lot more independant than I am and is probably really annoyed with me because I'm constantly trying to see if I can help him. I feel like I'm pushing him away and that he'll come to hate me and all the shit I went through to get here and to be with him is going to backfire into my face.

**Edit**
Alright, so I talked it out and lifes much better. It still feels great to get it out in the open like that.

Yeah...so since I haven't updated you guys in about a month a lot has happened. First big thing is I'm moving to just outside Denver, Colorado on the 19th of October. Shocking no? My boyfriend Tyler and I are moving there to start getting his life on track, he's going to start that whole college gig and I'm going to finally bite the bullet and go to a real college. I'm VERY nervous right now, we aren't even sure of how we are getting there. It all depends on if I can finally get my car payed off to my parents so we can drive and take more stuff than having to fly over. *Frets*

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

"less than two inches. She would later tell Jim Gardener..."

02. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.

There's my bed...mmm...comfy

03. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Family Guy

04. Without looking, guess what time it is?

5:00

05. What time is it?

6:02

06. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My fan and my room mates annoying doves...grr

07. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

I just got back inside from walking my dogs

08. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Erm, nature?

09. What are you wearing?

A t-shirt and soccer shorts

10. What did you dream last night?

Something rather odd that I can't remember

11. When did you last laugh?

Last night

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Color? I never hang anything on my walls

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Lotsa weird stuff last night after I ate those shrooms...

15. What is the last film you saw?

The Cooler

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

I'd buy my parents a house and then get myself one, and a really snazzy car for me and all my closest friends.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.

I have a birthmark shaped like africa on my left leg

18. If you could change one thing about the world

Thats a stupid question because if you change one thing think about all the stuff that it would affect and placeoutof order thus making the same sized mess which causes no difference at all or a BIG mess you wish you never created.

19. Do you like to dance?

In my room...

20. George Bush.

I don't give a shit one way or the other about that

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Bailey

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Ooo, thats a stumper. I've always had a prob with boys names.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

I wish I could

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

Hey...I know you

25: The people that I wanna tag:
uhhh. you! Your it and no tagbacks! Hah! I win...